:Random Parcels of Pseudo Truths:

Friday, October 21, 2005 what will it be? If i could wake up to a better life the next day, what will it look like? amaranthine froze in time on 3:10 PM Thursday, October 20, 2005 almost there i felt that i've almost reached the point when i can leave it. but it's almost. not there yet. there are a lot more complications involved. i will see when will be my breaking point. when i tell what i should. twice. amaranthine froze in time on 10:09 PM Monday, October 17, 2005 how hard it is the rumbling of your bike nearing the smell of fresh laundry your laughter you are always there somewhere in my day amaranthine froze in time on 4:24 PM Saturday, October 15, 2005 tartofu or big beancurd italian fare. how elaborate can they be. pizzas and pasta and gelato. but there is something singularly satisfying on having a spaghetii al frutti di mare, merluzzo arrosto, or a soffia al cioccolato. even a chinese sounding dish like tartofu is classily italian. just looking at the menu gives me an adreneline rush. with such beautiful words, it doesnt matter that my meal consists of in simple terms: spaghetti with seafood and tomato sauce, cod fish in truffle sauce and warm chocolate cake. never underestimate the power of words. or rather fancy coatings of words. we live in an impressionist society. it's all about the impression you create. people don't have the time to look closely or deep at things or people. most people can enjoy their meals not because they have experienced sensory explosion of taste in their mouths. it's the whole package. the lifestyle experience. being in a stylish restaurant, being surrounded by stylish crowd and being seen as one of them suffice for one to recommend the place to another, most likely another who actually does have a preference over mineral water. c'mon it's just water, it's what the packaging that gives you the satisfying feeling when downing the water. but i'm not one to criticise. if i have to choose, i do have my preferred choice of mineral water. amaranthine froze in time on 12:21 AM Thursday, October 13, 2005 the world whirl pass but i'm feeling giddy not from the passing scenes. it's being so close so comfortable so free. good thing you cant see the secret smile on my face amaranthine froze in time on 11:41 PM listing the stars to reach out to part of the process of change and discovery is listing down what i want to achieve. tangible or intangible. yes i know, the listing system never really worked for me. all these years of studying has done a lot to reaffirm this statement. but here i am, i am going to list the goals i set for myself right now. so that i may look back and do a check. coz sometimes it is possible to forget your dream and even yourself in this world. so here goes.... find a career that makes me alive i need a job that can challenge and motivate me. with a reasonable pay too. in the fashion, beauty, creative, media, advertising industry. yes who doesnt want to work in these places? i hope to find my niche. and i aim to have a job that can give me my career. i aim to reach $3000 in 5 yrs. ok or rather, 3 yrs. when i'm 27. i hope to have a car. enjoy life. and yet find time to help people and have time for myself. no point getting a high paying job that give me no life. quality of life is not based on monetary terms. finding the one ah this needs no elaboration. everybody's dream to find the one. but first and utmost i realise it is important that we can communicate well. then that he is someone who is confident, kind, positive, knowledgable and caring. looks not impt but i gez looking good together doesnt hurt. save enough to travel, invest and pamper yes how much and what's the time frame? well i shd aim to save at least $200 each mth. and gradually increase to 10-15% of my salary. i shd have at least $5000 in savings in 2 yrs' time. save. save. save. simple words but you never know how difficult it is for me. start my own online accessory website i have to first start to do my first accessory and decide what is my style. of coz i need to get those supplies of beads and stones first. i have ambitious and creative ideas. i'm excited yet handicapped. first i cant find good and affordable stones and i cant do my own website. i'm totally clueless. but well is something i'm feeling good about. it might just happen. may not be a great business but definitely will be a baby i will be proud of. random aims.... travelling to greece, middle east, us developing a style of my own knowing the right people having great fablous hair everyday having a room i love to stay in having a dog having a bulgari ring having a colt be more open be more optimistic be more confident be more caring be less materialistic be less lazy have more self discipline have more courage to speak up amaranthine froze in time on 3:29 PM Monday, October 10, 2005 a milestone for change it's a period of discovery. of past loves, of hidden talents, of undiscovered ambitions, of untapped optimism. "You are at the start of a new solar cycle. Emotional, mental and physical energies are at their yearly peak as you enter a new chapter which in astrological terms is considered your personal 'New Year'. Two eclipses this month will have a powerful effect on you, the Solar Eclipse on the 3rd occurring in your own sign. You're more in tune now with your own opinions and feelings and there is no longer a need to keep anyone in the dark about your personal intentions. If you have been withdrawn and reclusive, this period of hibernation comes to a close as you shake off any negative emotions that have held you back and prepare yourself for exciting new starts. The Lunar Eclipse on the 17th occurs in your house of partnerships and marriage bringing troubles that have been brewing to a head. You are careful now to get your priorities straight. If a relationship's not going to work, you will accept this. If a partnership has loving potential you will agree to give it your best. On the 26th Jupiter moves out of your sign into your income sector, marking the start of a lucrative new cycle. " "Jupiter is not going to stay in your sign for too much longer, so use each moment to the fullest. Keep stepping out on a limb and uncovering new opportunities to make your dreams come true. The Sun is also in your sign, helping to focus your attention on what is important to you and what you want to bring into being. Keep smiling, as things are looking good. Mars is retrograde in Taurus and the section of your chart associated with joint financial affairs and sex. These issues may need some attention, especially if either area has not been meeting your expectations lately. Determine to change the way you do things for a new experience and a fresh response. Mercury in Scorpio enables you to talk to the right people and get information that will bring you up to date with your accounts and financial plans. When Mercury trines Uranus on Thursday you may be inspired by someone to take a new course that will help you improve your cash flow situation. Venus squares Uranus on Friday, and this is going to bring up a conflict of ideas that could open your mind. When the Sun sextiles Pluto on Saturday you get to understand how you are creating your circumstances for better or worse. " "Birthday month has arrived! Rarely will the cosmos shower you with as many radiant fireworks as the ones it will this month! It will be twelve years until you see anything to match the display of cosmic beauty that you are about to see now. With a solar eclipse on October 3 in your sign, along with the Sun, Mercury, and Jupiter all lining up in Libra, you'll shine brightly and you will be a step closer to a long-held dream. It's time to dust off your wish list and to share your dreams with others. Ask authority figures and powerful friends for help - they will be willing to open doors for you. Solar eclipses always emphasize the Sun and the house ruled by Leo - for you, this will be your eleventh house of dearest hopes and wishes, and dear Libra, it's positively on fire! This month will be so potent that the decisions you have now could point you down a new golden path for years to come. Think big! Life won't always be this special, but when it is, you need to use it for all it's worth. You will also begin to see yourself differently, and this will resonate even more strongly for you if your birthday falls near this eclipse, October 3. As a Libra, you are very oriented to pleasing others, especially the person you love, but this month you need to think about yourself a little more. Libras are extraordinarily kind and thoughtful spouses and steady companions, but lately you have been so busy pleasing others that you may have completely forgotten about your own needs. Now forces of change will pull you back on your own path and remind you of what you must do to make yourself feel more fulfilled. If your birthday falls later in the sign, say, near October 17 - 22, lucky Jupiter will be sending all sorts of fabulous goodies to you. ALSO the second eclipse on October 17 will create lots of energy, too. Eclipses push events into quick action in surprising ways. Part of the job of an eclipse is to open a door and to provide opportunity as well as reveal certain truths. The first week of October will bring so many opportunities you may not know which way to turn or what to do. It will be critical that you be decisive about the ones that interest you. Don't assume that you will be able to buy time - you won't be able to do that. Eclipses don't work that way. They compress timetables, not expand them. Eclipses also bring events from the outside world into play, conditions over which you have no control, and that you might assume have nothing to do with you - until they do! As you see, this will be a month of crazy events and unbelievable twists and turns. Don't judge anything as "good" or "bad" this month - just sit back and observe. Sometimes with so much cosmic dust being kicked up, it's hard to see the road ahead. You need to simply have faith that you are moving in the right direction. One of the biggest reasons to be optimistic that you have a corner on luck is that Jupiter will be in your sign all month, strongly protecting all your interests until October 25. Financial benefits should flow to you too, and there are two powerful reasons. With a stack-up of planets in Libra, we need to check activities of Venus. Happily, Venus will circulate in your second house of earned income at the time of the solar eclipse, a good sign that the actions you will take will bring profit. When you read the discussion about Jupiter later, you will see more reasons why I am so optimistic about your future monetary picture. Jupiter is now in his final days in Libra. You've enjoyed a whole year of Jupiter's presence and you probably planted some potent seeds for your future. In fact, you may not know until next year, when you look back, that your whole life changed directions in this your critical year 2005. As soon as this good fortune planet Jupiter enters Scorpio on October 25, for thirteen months, the gestation period of the seeds you already planted will be over, and many of your new seedlings will be ready to come up in your garden. Jupiter won't be back to Libra until 2016. If you still have a dream that you want to make happen, you still have most of October to do so. Keep seeing anyone who will see you! Shout those dreams from the rooftops! When it comes to money, you may be in talks this month about venture capital, a mortgage, or line of credit. Talks about these funds seem to have been ongoing since the end of July or August, as Mars has been stirring the pot in your eighth house of funding since the end of July. This month, Mars will slow down in retrograde action as of October 1 for the ten weeks to come. If you hit a snag on the road to getting your funds, just shrug and see it as part of the process. It will be only temporary, for by December 10 things will start up again. (Actually a weak Mars is not so bad, as you may hold off on some of your monster spending.) You will have until February 16 to nail your deal. Mars' presence in your eighth house may have caused you to see skyrocketing account balances on your line of credit and credit cards. Now, as said, it looks like you'll get relief. Let's not forget that Jupiter is moving in to help your financial picture too - and this is a wow of an impending trend. After good luck Jupiter leaves Libra it will spend thirteen months in your house of earned income. Your year ahead will be filled with enormous financial opportunity. You won't notice things this month, as you will need a new moon to announce Jupiter's presence in this new house, and the new moon will have that pleasure on November 1, so stay tuned about that. One thing you won't miss about Jupiter's departure is the weight gain that usually comes along with this trend. If you battled weight problems in the past year, you will have an excellent chance to finally start to melt those pounds with just a little effort. The eclipse in Libra on October 3 could be an enormous help. Start your exercise program in the days that follow October 3 and you'll be thrilled with results. The first house of the horoscope is the part of the chart that shows how you look and feel - both could improve as a result of the actions you take after that eclipse appears. Another major moment of the month will occur on October 17, with the eclipse in Aries. That eclipse will bring the focus back to your partner. After stating your wishes earlier in the month, you may now hear back from your partner about how he or she feels about your plans. A weak attachment will unravel, but a strong one will make you both come together like two tiny particles that are powerfully magnetized toward one another under incredible high-speed velocity. Romantically, as you see, those ready to commit have strong cosmic vibrations to make the relationship official. If you are single and not dating, you'll feel the glow, too. If you could bottle your newfound popularity, you'd be a millionaire! This month it seems like everyone will want time with you. Alas, time is finite, so you'll have to schedule carefully. Again, it is clear that for once you get to decide what YOU want to do - no need to continually worry about pleasing others! Despite all this popularity, you MIGHT experience relationship turbulence on the lunar eclipse October 17. (Of course if you have no steady person in your life, this won't apply to you.) Certain facts may come to light that may change the way you view the relationship. Eclipses change the status of things and they always seem to bring an unexpected element into the mix. Keep an open mind. Still, the plot doesn't have to go this way. Your aspects are so incredibly beautiful that I know you will come out ahead. Some Libras will choose to get engaged or married this month or choose to form an important alliance, one that has a strong entrepreneurial, risk-taking twist to it. It would be a great time to do so, too. (Eclipses always create action, and will ask you to "fish or cut bait." No more sitting on the fence!) This eclipse falls so close to the meeting of Jupiter and the Sun, a simply astoundingly beautiful aspect. These two bodies will meet in late degrees of Libra on October 22, a day you should certainly circle in red on your calendar. It is due to be one of your very luckiest days of the year. There is some glow around it too, with the three days leading to it glittering brightly, too (October 19 - 21). Some sort of extraordinary luck is about to come your way - that seems assured. No matter what happens, never forget that you will be supremely protected in October, and more importantly, you will have the uncanny ability to turn things to your favor. (Friends will shake their heads and wonder how you do it!) On October 26, Neptune turns from retrograde to direct, and by then you'll see that your love life is right on track. On your planet, there are no dark clouds. On Halloween, the moon will be in Libra. Trick or treat? Best nights for love: October 3, 4, 5, 7, 8, and 22 Summary: Get ready for your close-up! With the Sun (strength), Mercury (smarts), Jupiter (luck), along with a powerful solar eclipse in Libra on October 3, you'll take the world by storm. Not content to continue walking along the same old path, you'll break out and shake things up enough to make everyone you know sit up and take notice. This will be the most important month of the year, and possibly the most important one of the DECADE. You can finally make the changes you've been plotting for a very long time. Your self-confidence will hit an all-time high, and there appears not to be a drop of fear or insecurity in your voice as you plan what are about to do. By the lunar eclipse October 17 in your opposite sign of Aries, your partner will respond to the plans that you announced earlier this month. Freedom and a sense of independence will become increasingly important you, not a priority that a partner-oriented Libra typically requests. No worries - you'll have all the support you need to shape your life as you see fit. Your present romantic relationship hasn't always been smooth, but this month, with the cosmos dealing you such a remarkably strong hand, you'll be grateful that you are in the driver's seat and steering in the direction you've always wanted. As if this month didn't have enough happening, there's more headline news when Jupiter, the planet of cosmic goodies, moves into your house of earned income. If you feel you've labored long and hard for too little compensation, all that will be corrected soon. Start reviewing your reasons why you deserve a major hike in salary because soon someone will ask to see your list." well just felt that i might want to look back to this time of life in the future. how is might be my turning point for my pursue of my dreams. amaranthine froze in time on 12:09 AM Friday, October 07, 2005 finding new pieces of me hidden talents and secrets. undiscovered part of me. hidden even to myself. i'm starting to wonder do i really know me. amaranthine froze in time on 10:40 AM Thursday, October 06, 2005 love thy not for thy beauty i'm a juxtaposition. as much as i want to look good, i do not want people to love me for my appearance. it's tempting but if you cant see beyond my outside, i've nothing much to offer you. ok i know, it's always the appearance that first attract guys to me. i don't deny that. i don't dislike that either. i do get better attention from them. but if that's all they think of me, then i'm really peeved. i'm not just a looker. i have a world inside me. i do not need a guy to stand outside and admire. i want to let a guy into my world. i may not be the most beautiful on the inside. but i do have something more to offer more than looks and body. times when i want to hear you say "i love you": when i sat with you in supportive silence as you moan over that promotion opportunity when i stayed up with you baring the signs of a panda so you wun be alone working on that proj when i bought you that hideous looking costume that stil puzzles me, but that you like so much when i am just walking with you when i am having my facial mask on when i just woke up when i am about to leave when i am having a bad day and you just knew it times when i don't want to hear you say "i love you": before making love when making love after making love amaranthine froze in time on 11:37 PM Wednesday, October 05, 2005 a life overhaul i'm at this stage in life when i need a change. a change in everything. including myself. ok i'm at a loss of words. reading blogs always have me emotional and reflective. i realised i never really lead a normal happy life like others. but sometimes instead of lamenting that how my life sucks, how love always eludes me, how i find it difficult to connect to people, it's time to really look deep into the root of the problem. me. i prevented the good things from happening in my life. of coz i have had my good times. but i gez i'm sick of being the pessimistic procrastinator. it's time i take charge of my life. yes at 23, i have decided to do something to start a new life. determined to be a better person. a better daughter, a better sister, a better friend, a better girlfriend, a better lover, a better worker. a new beginning... people have theirs when they met the person of their life. or when they brought a life into this world. i have mine when i felt that i'm doing all things wrong. i want to make things right again. sometimes i do think that do i deserve the good things in life. so now i'm going to work towards gaining that right to have a good life. good life. it's not about living it good. it's about living it to the fullest. with someone to share it with. with the blessing of all people ard. of being happy. i havent found myself. i'm always in between. amaranthine froze in time on 3:21 PM Tuesday, October 04, 2005 vint n tro i'm so reeved up now. i'm estactic to have a focus now. that's jewellery making. i have never felt so alive for a long time. great! amaranthine froze in time on 11:28 PM simpatico "it's pals who share exactly the same interests and vibe... and lovers who learn new things from one another." amaranthine froze in time on 9:46 AM retro madness yeah yeah i'm suddenly feeling like i lived in the bygone years. i'm an old soul. amaranthine froze in time on 12:22 AM Saturday, October 01, 2005 white thoughts marriage. a foreign thought. the problem is not so much about the worry about whether i will ever married, but whether i will marry the right one. and wat is the right one? the one you love the most or the one most ideal as your husband? and in most cases, these two do not coincide. Great. amaranthine froze in time on 12:06 AM

it does not take much effort to see past the mundane and notice the little details in life _______________ Bits about Me .......... i like to procastinate i am a fashion mag junkie i hate spiders i am drawn to aesthetics i have a toenail the size of a dot i am an owl i like bananas i hate favouritism i don't sing i can't do a split i bungee jumped i am drawn to colours i eat real slow but drink real fast i like tans; on me and on guys i wish i can really cook i have spatial intelligence i don't like attention i am a perfume polygamist i like to read and smell books i am a pessimistist i squander; money n time i can't count i am a serial worrier i am an old soul i like surprises make my day and drop me a line at adropinasea@gmail.com _______________ Wishlist: .......... 1. new job 2. michael kors chronograph watch 3. good spirits 4. spa pampering at aman resorts 5. time to read 6. good laugh 7. a canine companion 8. a black chandelier 9. 10.kisses and hugs _______________ Quote to ponder .......... every passing moment is a chance to turn it all around _______________ ARCHIVES 01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004 02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004 03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004 04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004 05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004 06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004 07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004 01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005 02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005 03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005 04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005 05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005 06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005 07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005 08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005 09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005 10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005 11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005 12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006 01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006 02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006 03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006 04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006 05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006 07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006 08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006 09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006 01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007 03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007 04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007 01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008 02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008 03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008 11/01/2009 - 12/01/2009 Picture Credits: Kurt Halsey