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Sunday, April 24, 2005Am i ready?I get embroiled in some vices that make me eat my words. I made me realise that the world is much more interesting and complicated. It intrigues me yet confused me. Am i ready to face the harsh world offering its endless possibilities? Each decision, each action, each step counts. It glides u bit by bit to the life you are to live. Everything happens for a reason. I always like to remind myself that. there should be no regrets or should hav or what if. if it happens this way, it's meant to be. nothing will be changed. or can be changed. But what i'm moaning about is what that has not happened, not what that has happened. Like why have I not found true meaning in life. A goal. A love. I'm like an aimless sailor, allowing my little vessel to be glided by the currents of fate. I may know my directions, I know where I want to head but i have no idea what i want to see at the horizon. Perhaps i will only know where it appears. I have the map to any destinations. If only i know where i want to be, it will save me a lot of aimless wandering, hoping that it will somehow appear in my path. And along the lonely journey, the fleeting sense of freedom and independence soon withered to a drag of loneliness. but for this matter I believe in letting the currents decide. But if I met one, am i ready to fall in love? A late-bloomer I am, but I question myself on whether i really want love. Perhaps nothing has come coz I just wasnt looking. I put my eyes on the far horizon, conjuring all the perfect images while failing to acknowledge the presence of any near me. man. this is crap. it happens when a gal has nothing to do on a lazy sunday evening. sunsets are always depressing for me. esp reading the lives of other people enjoying their lives. perhaps i should let loose and enjoy life. I take my life too seriously. I read too deeply into my life. am i ready? ha this seriously sounds too serious. it's not as if i'm getting married or even entering a relationship. it's simply me asking myself, am i ready to take on life. work. it's not all about doing the politically right stuff. not all about pleasing everyone. accept that there'll be backstabs, coming from others and even from myself. that work isnt everthing. am i ready to take on challenges and do the impossible for me: be successful. me climbing up the corporate ladder? i have always said no way. but hey who knows... perhaps my materialistic tendency will supercede. family. i no longer resent the favouritism practiced in my family. i accept that it's innate. i do have my favourite people too. my parents are entitled to have their fave daughter. i am happy that now i hav some contributions towards my family. i'm happy to hav my family. love. i no longer hold on to the hope of finding the man of my life. i am happy to find a man in my life. of coz, as simple as it sounds, it does entail some selection. a man does not equate any man. a long term relationship does not have to be the only end. great dates or flings wil do too. as long as i can handle. key is moderation. i'm not aiming to lead a promiscuous dating lifestyle, but neither am i keeping myself for just a man. in fact that latter is made invalid already. I am ready to take on anything. bad or good. that's life. amaranthine froze in time on 6:39 PM
Friday, April 22, 2005Let it beCurrently, i have nothing to rant nor to rave about. Duh. Blah. Sign. amaranthine froze in time on 10:25 PM
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it does not take much effort to see past the mundane and notice the little details in life
_______________ Bits about Me .......... i like to procastinate i am a fashion mag junkie i hate spiders i am drawn to aesthetics i have a toenail the size of a dot i am an owl i like bananas i hate favouritism i don't sing i can't do a split i bungee jumped i am drawn to colours i eat real slow but drink real fast i like tans; on me and on guys i wish i can really cook i have spatial intelligence i don't like attention i am a perfume polygamist i like to read and smell books i am a pessimistist i squander; money n time i can't count i am a serial worrier i am an old soul i like surprises make my day and drop me a line at adropinasea@gmail.com _______________ Wishlist: .......... 1. new job 2. michael kors chronograph watch 3. good spirits 4. spa pampering at aman resorts 5. time to read 6. good laugh 7. a canine companion 8. a black chandelier 9. 10.kisses and hugs _______________ Quote to ponder .......... every passing moment is a chance to turn it all around _______________ ARCHIVES
01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004 02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004 03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004 04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004 05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004 06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004 07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004 01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005 02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005 03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005 04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005 05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005 06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005 07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005 08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005 09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005 10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005 11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005 12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006 01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006 02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006 03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006 04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006 05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006 07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006 08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006 09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006 01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007 03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007 04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007 01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008 02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008 03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008 11/01/2009 - 12/01/2009 |
