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Sunday, January 29, 2006somebody i can't beI want somebody to share Share the rest of my life Share my innermost thoughts Know my intimate details Someone who’ll stand by my side And give me support And in return She’ll get my support She will listen to me When I want to speak About the world we live in And life in general Though my views may be wrong They may even be perverted She’ll hear me out And won’t easily be converted To my way of thinking In fact she’ll often disagree But at the end of it all She will understand me Aaaahhhhh.... I want somebody who cares For me passionately With every thought and With every breath Someone who’ll help me see things In a different light All the things I detest I will almost like I don’t want to be tied To anyone’s strings I’m carefully trying to steer clear of Those things But when I’m asleep I want somebody Who will put their arms around me And kiss me tenderly Though things like this Make me sick In a case like this I’ll get away with it Somebody by Depeche Mode it hurts to know that i cant be your somebody that i know one day i will leave you and be someone else's somebody it hurts to know how much you have fell for me for it shows the capacity of the hurt i can inflict on you my tears now is for the hurt i know i will give you an inevitable end despite me trying right now i can't pretend i'm not a pretender, i'm a idealist but my bubble has been burst i know we are living on dangerous ground me providing more only to know that it will end i know i will never forgive myself i know i will never forget you but i know the day i hurt you you will never forgive me you will make youself forget me i never want to lose you forever but i know you can never hold me forever amaranthine froze in time on 1:45 AM
Thursday, January 26, 2006pain residespain comes in many different variations the pain of operation and wounds the pain of canes and injections the pain of lost and dejection i can withstand true pain comes to me when i find myself not able to answer you when you asked for my instinct on our relationship whether we will be married with kids i can't coz I know you will not want to hear it coz I know that you too know where it will be headed coz I know you are afraid too coz I know you just want the assurance from me coz I know that you know the pain already coz I know that you do not want history to repeat itself true pain comes to me when i find myself caught between what I want and what I can do i know what I want but I know I can't i can't choose to be with the man I want coz I have a man crazy in love with me coz you want a woman crazy about God like you coz I have sinned and still sinning coz you need a pure woman within coz I am everything that you will not want coz you are everything that isn't me true pain comes to me when i find myself knowing what I should do but can't do i know that I am wrong we are wrong together but I try so hard to make it right coz your life evolves around me coz you changed yourself for me coz you never make me feel less coz you love me with a capacity I'm incapable of true pain comes to me when i find myself liking what I should not and disliking what I should i always find ways to rebel but it is really taking its toil on me coz I spend my time being a taker not a giver coz taking takes more out of me than giving coz making love makes less sense than sex coz my heart doesn't flutter coz my desires isn't aroused coz my enjoyment is forbidden coz my happiness is followed by guilt coz I know I will never get that happiness coz I know that soon it will be all over, for both coz I know ultimately I will be the biggest loser amaranthine froze in time on 2:38 PM
Monday, January 23, 2006things are as good as i think them to belife's good to me nothing much has changed if they have i'll like to believe that they're for the better amaranthine froze in time on 1:38 PM
Monday, January 16, 2006in the mood for domesticity
of coz i'm won over. i like to fuss over how my food looks. i like to do crafts and diy home decor. nothing please me better than a visual feast of aesthetics at home. and another sign i'm being hit by the domestic fairy is that i'm starting to look at wedding stuff. and frankly, a sense of alarm sets in. i am not ready for domesticity. it's pretty much of a fantasy life i want to have. coz i know i'll never make pretty cupcakes. and right now i'm more interested in learning the art of survival rather than the art of perfection. yes it's juz a phase, soon it'll be back to reality. amaranthine froze in time on 4:42 PM
Friday, January 13, 2006complete missingeverything seems almost perfect things falling into place from a former pile of mess of indecision and helplessness i'm starting to find my pieces but i know things aren't perfect neither are they complete yet things never are life never is perfection is the silly pursuit of the impossible completion is a state fit at the end i'm just starting my journey a long route of discovery of the missing pieces along the way the state of bliss i'm in is the brief elation at having found some there are many more to go and right now i have a sense of what one missing piece is Him. amaranthine froze in time on 12:19 AM
Tuesday, January 10, 2006progress report Idoing well so far..... happier. yes i learnt to turn and face the sun, enjoy its warmth and glow rather than hide and dwell in the shadows. nothing much has changed, my attitude towards life changed things. tidier. the best progress come unplanned. a rainy day is all it takes for me to hav a clean table. cleared corner. new tv out. little things like that can change how you feel within a room. the transition is well on its way. i'm excited. more organised. i started organising things. my bills, magazines, accessories supplies. i started keeping track of my expenditure. i edited my photos. i plan to organize the articles i want by scanning them. got that years neglected scanner out. but it's not working. well but it's a great idea i want to do. i plan to get a hard disk soon to organise my stuff. yes i almost forgotten how enjoyable it is to have things organized. knowing exactly where things are and where they should be. hope all these will progress consistently. amaranthine froze in time on 12:20 AM
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it does not take much effort to see past the mundane and notice the little details in life
_______________ Bits about Me .......... i like to procastinate i am a fashion mag junkie i hate spiders i am drawn to aesthetics i have a toenail the size of a dot i am an owl i like bananas i hate favouritism i don't sing i can't do a split i bungee jumped i am drawn to colours i eat real slow but drink real fast i like tans; on me and on guys i wish i can really cook i have spatial intelligence i don't like attention i am a perfume polygamist i like to read and smell books i am a pessimistist i squander; money n time i can't count i am a serial worrier i am an old soul i like surprises make my day and drop me a line at adropinasea@gmail.com _______________ Wishlist: .......... 1. new job 2. michael kors chronograph watch 3. good spirits 4. spa pampering at aman resorts 5. time to read 6. good laugh 7. a canine companion 8. a black chandelier 9. 10.kisses and hugs _______________ Quote to ponder .......... every passing moment is a chance to turn it all around _______________ ARCHIVES
01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004 02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004 03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004 04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004 05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004 06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004 07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004 01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005 02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005 03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005 04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005 05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005 06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005 07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005 08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005 09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005 10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005 11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005 12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006 01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006 02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006 03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006 04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006 05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006 07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006 08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006 09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006 01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007 03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007 04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007 01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008 02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008 03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008 11/01/2009 - 12/01/2009 |
