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Tuesday, February 28, 2006times when money does make my world goes round...it aren't funny when i have to check my bank account before deciding whether to buy a pair of shoes. geesh, does that make me poor? *gasp* i've always lived it good. not particularly rich. i know the pains of money but i'm in no lack of it. until i started working. what an irony. stepping out to work. isn't that the milestone to becoming financially independent woman? when i spend my own money, when my parents are not given the right to nag. when i can finally afford to buy the things i want. clearly not in my case. the world out there is nothing like the world that i construe. my ideals are way off mark. i thought... that i'll be happy as long as i can find a job that i am passionate about. doing what i like and do best. simple. money? nah it doesn't matter. what kind of life is that to work your ass off to earn that kind of money? the money you get from doing something u don't enjoy is akin to ill-earned money. my view then. but... i realised that i will be happier if i earn more from than enjoy more of my job. having more clothes is better than getting more praise. yes i can enjoy my work tremedously but the high doesn't quite last when you realise that food can only comes from non-conditioned place or at places where you bring your food to your own table. not that i'm arguing for the lasting effects of retail therapy, it's more than that. it's about living a life at your level of comfort. it could mean going on a short trip to unwind instead of trying to image i'm somewhere. it could mean buying books that i will want to keep instead of trying to etch the quotables into my memory. and of course, if a car comes along, i'll be working my ass off too. money. it used to be a dirty word in my dictionary. but now, i've come to accept it among the ranks of love, passion and freedom. yes, money doesn't rule my world. but it changes my world. amaranthine froze in time on 11:03 AM
Wednesday, February 15, 2006valentine day: no arrows my wayi said "let's not do the commercial thing of celebrating valentine with dinner and flowers which share the same sin of being over-priced. a simple dinner at home will do" true. i do not think carrying a big bouquent of roses and walking the streets romantic. yes i'm not that floral proud. and i certainly think that spending the night with many other couples eating the same mass produced food is not romantic. ok, if you want to, i'm fine, only if you can afford that extravagance. and you can't now. so it's just a home-cooked dinner at home, courtesy of me. just chilling at home with wine and enjoying each other's company. or so i thought. it helps if you can stop telling me what to do in the kitchen. fyi, i'm in charge that night. so now the dinner is screwed. we sat there in silence looking at the chicken spin in the microwave. it helps if you can at least do something to indicate it's valentine's day. a surprise peck or hug. doing something different. well, what i said "everyday can be valentine's day" i do veer towards meaning that everyday can be as romantic as valentine's day. apparently you see it that to mean valentine's day can be like everyday. it's ok. still love you. *sign* amaranthine froze in time on 11:56 AM
Tuesday, February 14, 2006you don't know your limitations until you exceed themdon't walk when you can run don't eat when you can savour don't share when you can give don't hestitate when you can just do it life's all about exceeding your limitations, and expectations it's all about living beyond present possibilities it's all about creating your future possibilities what's holding you back is just you. amaranthine froze in time on 10:55 AM
Monday, February 13, 2006keys to his hearti was given the keys to his apartment. a little gesture but it meant so much. it is the key to the next level of our relationship. i held on the keys slightly bemused. i stepped into the house feeling different. like i have a part in it. though all that changes is that i do not ever need to ring the doorbell. i'm excited at my status as a co-keyholder. nothing as big as getting married or getting a place of my/our own. the keys do not just give me a sense of ownership to his place. they give me ownership to his heart and soul. they give me access into his world. the feeling is reminiscent of me getting my driving license me getting my first salary me getting my first splurge on my own me getting my first kiss me getting my first *** things that make me feel that i've moved on further in life. amaranthine froze in time on 5:27 PM
Thursday, February 09, 2006a wild wild worldthere is no one place or state to be that is unencumbered by the tentacles of politics. the power struggle, back-stabbing, fakery. exactly the things that i want to steer clear of. not because i believe that i do not want to be tainted, but rather, i am afraid that i will be afflicted by the intricacy of work life. i will be squashed, stepped, torn, chopped, liquidified whatever. but now, i want to be abused, belittled, bitched on. of coz, these have to come along with the perks of work. i want an environment where i am challenged. i'll rather be fighting a battle than be fighting boredom. you know how much effortful it is to appear busy than to be busy? i want to be able to look back 10 years from now, giving myself a pat, for being a survivor amidst inhumanity, yet still retaining my soul; for being an influence above many brillant minds, yet not losing my head from being high up there. i said i didnt want to climb the corporate ladder. still holds. but i do want to climb the ladder of success. social and personal ladder. never one who sets goals or have ambitions. all i have is tomorrow and dreams. i live for today and tomorrow. but i've changed. i care about what will happen after tomorrow. time to me isn't precious when i'm young and studying. i waste time like how paris hilton waste money. i slack the way she parties. but she had her time of in-abundance. like how i had mine. when i can't spend money like i used to. when i no longer have my naps. when i can't walk the mall when others slougde away. for the first time, i felt the pinch. i felt the need to set some budget. need to save. i'm starting to feel the empowerful of having something in the bank. yeah, late bloomer. yeah i'm a different person. for the better i hope. i aim to be the best that i can. amaranthine froze in time on 12:27 PM
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it does not take much effort to see past the mundane and notice the little details in life
_______________ Bits about Me .......... i like to procastinate i am a fashion mag junkie i hate spiders i am drawn to aesthetics i have a toenail the size of a dot i am an owl i like bananas i hate favouritism i don't sing i can't do a split i bungee jumped i am drawn to colours i eat real slow but drink real fast i like tans; on me and on guys i wish i can really cook i have spatial intelligence i don't like attention i am a perfume polygamist i like to read and smell books i am a pessimistist i squander; money n time i can't count i am a serial worrier i am an old soul i like surprises make my day and drop me a line at adropinasea@gmail.com _______________ Wishlist: .......... 1. new job 2. michael kors chronograph watch 3. good spirits 4. spa pampering at aman resorts 5. time to read 6. good laugh 7. a canine companion 8. a black chandelier 9. 10.kisses and hugs _______________ Quote to ponder .......... every passing moment is a chance to turn it all around _______________ ARCHIVES
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